Monthly Archives: September 2015

Lying Amish

Lying Amish

Ok, maybe “lying” is too harsh a word…but my mouth is scorched and an Amish farmer is to blame.

I went to the Farmer’s Market this morning because it was 68 degrees and gorgeous outside….and it gave me an excuse to not do laundry.

I love Farmer’s Markets. Today’s bounty included white spinach (which is still green, but whatever), a gigantic bag of green beans, some squash, a couple of bagels for my carb eating family members, baby onions, freshly fire roasted green chilies, and a little box of teeeeeeeny tiny multi-colored peppers.

The peppers were so cute I just couldn’t resist. I asked the nice Amish man if they were hot or sweet, and he said they were “a little milder than a jalapeño”. Perfect! Just what I need for some guacamole or a stir fry.

when we got home, I decided to pop one in my mouth to gauge the flavor and heat.

Dear Lord. I couldn’t spit it out fast enough. My mouth is scorched, even after a glass of milk.

Glad I didn’t buy any of his jalapeños.



What a silly name “Oopsie Bread” is…

What a silly name “Oopsie Bread” is…
What a silly name “Oopsie Bread” is…

If you’re on a low carb eating plan (like me), lack of bread is probably the bane of your existence, as it is mine.  There are several options in the grocery stores, actually with low carb wraps and tortillas and good stuff. I’m kind of partial to Joseph’s brand.  The lavash bread is 4 net carbs per half, and makes a really tasty pizza crust in a pinch.


Sometimes though, I want something with more volume…or I don’t want to go to the store….or I want even less than 4 g. net carbs.  For those times, there’s Oopsie Bread.

Oopsie Bread is not my creation, nor my recipe, nor my anything.  There is an Oopsie owner out there somewhere (thank you, genius baking person, for creating this recipe) that gets all the props.  I just put my spin on it for ideas.

Basic Oopsie Bread recipe:

3 eggs (separated)

3 oz. cream cheese

1/8 tsp. cream of tartar

1/8 tsp. salt

Separate eggs, with whites in 1 bowl and yolks in another.  Mix yolks with cream cheese and salt until smooth. Beat whites and cream of tartar until stiff peaks form.  Fold yolk mixture into whites mixture.

I use a spatula to pour into basic bun shape onto a parchment lined cookie sheet.


Bake at 300 degrees for 30 minutes.  If you want them a little browner, put them on the top rack for another 5-10 minutes.

This recipe makes about 6 breads. I have doubled and even tripled the recipe with no bad results.  If you’re making more than you can eat right away, you should refrigerate leftovers.  I’ve been told they also freeze well, but haven’t frozen any myself (because I just eat them) so can’t confirm that.

These are great right out of the oven with some butter on top.  YUM! They also make a great hamburger bun (use one for the top and one for the bottom, don’t try to split one Oopsie), French toast substitute, or dessert cake.  See the recipe variations below.

Everything Oopsie:

Before baking, sprinkle dried minced garlic, dried onion bits, poppy seeds, sesame seeds, caraway seeds, fennel seeds, sea salt, and coarse ground pepper on the top of each one.  Just like an Everything Bagel!


French Toast Oopsie:

Before baking, sprinkle with cinnamon.  Once out of the oven, add just the tiniest smidge of nutmeg, then butter and sugar free syrup.

Dessert Cake:

After baking, sprinkle with your artificial sweetener of choice (I use Splenda, don’t be a hater), then cover with fresh sliced strawberries, raspberries, and/or blackberries and whipped cream.

Rye Oopsie:

For you folks who love Reubens like I love Reubens:

Before baking, sprinkle with caraway seeds.  You’ll be amazed how that one thing can fool your taste buds!

Pumpkin Problems

Pumpkin Problems
Pumpkin Problems

I love this time of year.  It’s still warm, but the promise of cool Fall nights is right around the corner.  I start thinking about crock pot meals and bonfires and baseball playoffs. Our family has a buttload of birthdays from September until the end of the year, which means lots of clan time too, always a plus.

And, I love to decorate for Fall.  The challenge is getting the decor done in time to enjoy it before Christmas shoves all my pumpkins and acorns into storage for another year.  Since it’s also a busy time at work, I sometimes get behind the 8 ball.  More than sometimes.  Pretty much always.  Actually, this describes it perfectly:

Welcome to my pathetic life

Welcome to my pathetic life

Not this year!  This year, I am determined to be bathed in Autumn Splendor by October 1.  I am planning ahead.  I am scheduling.  I am ON IT!

Sometime in July, I became obsessed with this display for Autumn.

How Adorable Is This?

Is that cute, or what?

The best part is that I already have the base bucket!  So, in other words, it was pre-ordained that I was to make this display.  This whole thing is only going to set me back about $15.  I’m a happy camper!

All I needed was a length of rebar, which my MacGyver husband already had, 5 little plastic pumpkin buckets, and some adorable mums.  Easy peasy!

It’s too early to buy mums, but long weekends like this one are meant for projects like this, so I planned on getting my display ready.  Base planter, check.  Rebar, check.  Potting soil, check.  Off to get some pumpkin buckets from the dollar store!

What is going on in America?

This is the standard for a trick or treat bucket. This. Right here.

This is the standard for a trick or treat bucket. This. Right here.

The $1 Shop, Dollar General, nor Family Dollar have these pumpkins.  They have mini (two inch) pumpkins, and orange pails with pumpkin faces on them, but not the required pumpkin shaped and textured treat buckets.  Fail.

Amazon has them for $4.99 ea. plus shipping.  Not eligible for Prime.  Amazon is smoking the ganja.

I checked K-Mart online, and found them for $1.46 each, available in my local store, so off I went.

K-Mart online lied to me.  They have the pumpkin buckets, but only in hot pink, purple, or black.  I’m sorry, when did the signature pumpkin orange go out of style?

What is this? An Easter Pumpkin bucket?

What is this? An Easter Pumpkin bucket?

I happened to spy Marge, a helpful, cheery employee in the Halloween aisle at K-Mart.  I asked her if they had any orange pumpkin buckets.

“We must have….somewhere.”

“I couldn’t find them, only these pink and purple ones.  Oh, and the black.”

“Why wouldn’t we have orange?”

“I, uh, I don’t know.  That’s why I’m asking you.  You must have orange, yes?”

“Well, it’s flippin’ K-Mart, so who knows.”

Thank you, Marge at K-Mart, for confirming that even helpful, cheery employees are baffled by K-Mart’s choice of inventory.

I look at Steve, and know what he’s thinking.  The Big W.

“Do you want to try Target?”

“They’re almost $4 a piece at Target online.  I’m not paying $4 for pumpkins that should be $1.  I was compromising at $1.46.”


“Michael’s doesn’t have the round ones.  They have the pails.  Their actual pumpkins are $12 each.  Let’s not get crazy.”

“OK, then hear me out.  Let’s just go to Wal-Mart.”

“No.  No Wal-Mart. I don’t want the planter that badly.”

“Wait, so you would rather abandon the entire project than buy the pumpkins from Wal-Mart?”

I grudgingly head to Wal-Mart.  Where there are no pumpkin buckets.  There are costumes, and candy, and decorative items, and orange gift bags with jack-o-lantern faces, but there are no pumpkin buckets. I subjected myself to Wal-Mart on a FRIDAY NIGHT, and came away empty handed.


Ebay.  Ebay’s gotta have pumpkins, right?

This is where I learned that the world has gone insane.  Used plastic pumpkin buckets are being hailed as “vintage”, and are listed for $15.00 and up.  Not just one seller, mind you…..dozens.  I *did* find what I wanted, at the price I wanted…. $0.75 each!  Plus shipping.  From China.  That may arrive by Christmas.

I’m not giving up.  There will be decor up by October 1st so that I can bask in the beauty of Fall.  That fabulous towering pumpkin planter may be adorning my front stairs in a few weeks.  Or, I may scale it back a little.

Nothing says "At least I tried" like a badly carved jack-o-lantern"

Nothing says “At least I tried” like a badly carved jack-o-lantern”