Today was deemed a “productive day” by my husband and me.  That in itself made it special, because normally we’re not on that same page.  Either I’m going a mile a minute while he takes a nap, or he’s spit-shining the kitchen while I’m playing cards.  Whatever, it works for us.

So it was with enthusiasm that we planned our day.  Cooking for the week, vacuuming, laundry, quality puppy time, etc.

It started out enthusiastically well.  Took E home to his Momma, trudged through the local WalMart gathering the ingredients for our week’s worth of planned meals and cleaning supplies.  Made an unsuccessful stop at Petco looking for a powdered vitamin supplement for Pickle, but getting to meet some adorable puppies made it worth the stop.

Came home and got right to it.  Steve sprinkling the good smelling stuff on the carpets and vacuuming, me cleaning out the fridge and putting the groceries away.

Then it hit.  The fuel shortage.  We both decided to sit down and enjoy a drink for a few minutes. Oops.

Warning:  when trying to be productive, don’t ever sit down.  Not even for a minute.

When the diet Pepsi and Caramel latte didn’t really energize us enough, we moved on to making some guacamole.  Yes, a snack!  That’s the ticket.  We needed a snack!

The guac bowl is empty.  It’s 6:30 p.m.  We haven’t made one meal, let alone 5.  Laundry is not started.  Bird feeders are not filled.  My 12 hour re-charge is a distant memory, and I could use a nap.  Or a glass of wine.

On the bright side, at least Steve and I are on the same page today.  We’re both slackers.

I’m a regular person, with regular days, and regular boredom.  Nothing to write home about.

So, when someone asked me this evening, “What’d you do today?” I said, “Nothing.”

“Nothing?  How can you have done nothing all day?”

So I thought about it.  When I say “nothing”, this is what I mean:

Got up at 4 a.m. after fighting insomnia for 5 hours to take 130 lb. senior dog with bladder control problem outside.

Slept from 4:45 a.m. – 6:15 a.m.  My complete inability to sleep 2 hours prior has been replaced with disorientation and grogginess.

Got the E man up, fed, dressed, and to school on time. Yes, I was still in my leopard print pajamas and slippers, but the important thing is that he was fed, dressed, AND on time.  Don’t judge me.

Served Large Breed Puppy Blend (for Pickle) and Senior Dog Weight Management (for Moose & Echo)  breakfast bowls and outside play time with the 3 dogs. Still in my pajamas and slippers.  The neighbors love me.  Got into an Alpha Dog face off with the Pickle Dog after she took off into the woods in pursuit of a squirrel.

Winded from my jaunt into the woods, I got Pickle back in the house, shed my wet slippers, traded my wet pajamas for my dry robe, and stepped in pee.

Got out the Spot Bot to clean up after the Echo Dog with the bladder control problem, and checked clock to calculate how long I should wait before hitting the brandy.  I decided that if I put brandy in my coffee, it would be acceptable.  Call it the “Day After St. Patrick’s Day Dispensation”.  Yeah, that’s the ticket.

Started to make coffee, but looking for a coffee cup was all it took to create a diversion.  Ended up emptying the dishwasher, refilling the dishwasher, and started dishes.

Went to get towels for the shower, but got distracted when I saw E’s clothes on the bathroom floor.  Gathered up E’s dirty clothes from the weekend and started his laundry.

Headed for the shower, but abandoned it because there wasn’t enough hot water left over from the dishwasher and washing machine.  Realized I still hadn’t had coffee…..which means I hadn’t had brandy either.  My schedule is, apparently, askew.

Checked the fridge for half & half so I could get some caffeine in me, and saw totally icky strawberries instead.  Pulled the container out, only to discover expired yogurt hiding behind the moldy strawberries.

Realizing I hadn’t bought strawberries since before my business trip 11 days ago, I gave up on the coffee and performed a basic purge of the refrigerator.

Stop.  Listen.  Silence.  Wash cycle is done!  Load one in the dryer, load two in the washer, but smart enough to make sure load two was cold water wash.  I really wanted a shower.

Might as well keep the equipment running efficiently though, so I emptied the dishwasher of the first batch and refilled it with various cups, saucers, Gladware, and ramekins.  Saw the newly washed 1 gallon pitcher, and made iced tea.

Still have no coffee.  Adult ADD, yes….coffee, no.

The dryer buzzer prompted me to get E’s now clean clothes packed up with all his other weekend paraphernalia.

Almost lunch!  Who needs coffee?!?  Pfffft!  However, lunch was reserved for making 2 pans of lasagna oven ready; one for us, and one for my daughter to deliver after work.

Another dryer buzzer, and it’s time for a ham sandwich.  The 6 eyes trained on me, trying to communicate starvation, remind me that it’s time for the second canine feeding and outside play time.

I’m still in the robe.  Yikes. It’s 3:30, and I risk being spotted by a bus full of school children if I go out there.

Quick shower.  Real clothes on.  Debate shoes, but, nah….and on with the afternoon dog chores.

Oh, wait….did I mention I snuck in about 9 hours of work too?  Yep, the paid kind.  Phone calls, emails, research, reports.

It’s now after 6:00 p.m., and we rush out to deliver the lasagna and all of E’s stuff.  My daughter’s been working out of town all weekend, so we spend a few minutes catching up.  After hitting all the highlights of her weekend, she says “What are you doing tonight?”

Shrugs.  “Nothing.  Going to go home and have some coffee.”